I was in a toxic work situation: texting with Empower Work was life changing

At Empower Work, we believe a conversation can change a life. We see it in confidential chats people have with trained peer counselors every day.

When we met incoming Peer Counselor Michelle, she shared that she was in a totally different place thanks to a conversation she had nearly two years ago. Now she’s paying it forward.

A few years ago, I thought I was making this exciting change in my life to a new role. I believed it was a great fit and I even had a friend there, who spoke really highly of the workplace.

Once I started, I realized that it was not at all what I was expecting. It was a toxic environment, and I felt unsafe from day one, when the company surprised all the new hires with a mandatory probationary period that was not disclosed to any of us beforehand. On a weekly basis, junior sales people were required to share their pitch with the CEO. At the end of each week, the teammate with the weakest pitch was terminated. It was a literal shark tank.

In addition, my friend turned out not to be who I thought she was, and she turned on me. I ended up feeling completely alone and trapped.

My response was to beat myself up and ask, “How could I have been so stupid?” My stomach was constantly in knots. I was convinced I needed to quit to get away, and I was also terrified of being without a job, which I couldn’t afford. A lot of what I was thinking was “I need to get out of here. I need to quit. “ I was caught up in cycles of worrying how it would look on my resume. How would I talk about it to recruiters. I was frozen with terror.

I had heard about Empower Work from a mentor. I snuck away from my coworkers and texted in, and the Empower Work Peer Counselor started off by helping me sort out my feelings. We slowed way down, and talked through what I was experiencing. As we texted, my breath slowed down and so did my heart rate.

The peer counselor helped me view the situation from an outside perspective, and sort out my feelings. I realized the situation was not my fault, that it could have happened to anyone.

“That conversation changed my life.”

I don’t remember the details, but I remember the feeling of being safe. I felt so much better. I felt like I was in a place without judgement, a place of care and concern.

The peer counselor helped me sort through the fears…and stop worrying so much about what might happen, and recognize what was really happening in the situation.

Once my emotions calmed down, we talked through how to go about job searching without quitting, how to deal with the environment and create boundaries for myself in order to be able to make it until I found what was next. It helped me to realize when my emotions were taking over, so I could say “that’s just me feeling overwhelmed, and I can step away from that feeling.” It is so easy to get tunnel vision when you have so many feelings in a tough situation.

After the conversation, I followed the action plan of focusing on another job. I knew exactly what to look for in terms of culture so I wouldn’t land in the same situation again. And I started a new job, where I was immediately a happier person.

“I’ve always thought back…I can’t believe a stranger I never met had such a huge impact on my life. I don’t know who that person is, but I hope they know…I am in the best part of my career now because of them.”

The change I’ve made in my life didn’t happen overnight. I’ve been working since that conversation, first to recognize that I was carrying with me difficult emotions of sadness and uncertainty, and that I don’t have to do that. I am different today: I choose to look at the positive: I channel my energy with more purpose. I don’t sit in negative feelings. I empower myself and champion myself.

I think the biggest change is that I am far more compassionate with myself and with others. People don’t go into work intending to be mean. Everyone in life is going through growth, and is on their own path. I don’t expect people to be perfect, and I don’t take what they do to me personally. That’s had a huge impact on my life.

I am volunteering with Empower Work now because now it’s time to pay it forward, and I just hope I can provide the same for someone else out there.