The power of giving advice less and listening more
Volunteering can be a powerful way to give back and gain new skills. Val Sanders, Empower Work’s Director of Training and Volunteers chatted with Keya T., one of Empower Work’s master peer counselors, about how she’s grown personally and professionally since she began helping people on the Empower Work text line.
Val: You’ve shared before how powerful listening can be. How have you learned more about listening as a peer counselor?
Keya T., one of Empower Work’s master peer counselors
Keya: Absolutely, listening is a skill that takes takes practice. I’ve developed listening skills over time with the help of Empower Work’s [20 hour] training, and the support I've received when I'm on the line. Developing active listening skills has definitely impacted my life outside of volunteering. I've learned that people are the experts of their own lives, and because of that I give advice less and listen more. That's what's actually helpful.
Val: I love what you shared about "people are the experts of their own lives." I am curious: how does that show up in how you interact with people at work?
Keya: It’s natural to ask for advice. Coworkers have asked how to handle a situation, and instead of telling them what I think they should do, the conversation is much more of a collaboration. I reinforce that they know the situation best because they were there, and they know aspects that I don't, so I'll asking clarifying questions, and once we land on what their gut is telling them to do, a lot of times people just need to hear that what they want to do is reasonable, and that it makes sense given the situation, so I give them that support.
“Developing active listening skills has definitely impacted my life outside of volunteering. I’ve learned that people are the experts of their own lives, and because of that I give advice less and listen more. ”
Val: You are so good at acknowledging people who reach out to Empower Work: at seeing their accomplishments, strengths and values, and reflecting back what you see in appreciation. Is that something you see yourself doing at work, and if so, what is the impact?
Keya: Definitely. It can be hard to see all the progress you've made when you're focusing on what's still left to do. At work, when someone comes to me with an issue they're having, acknowledging that they're even coming to talk to me about it can be powerful, and give them the confidence and reassurance to keep moving forward.
Val: What’s one thing you think has really changed since you’ve volunteered?
Keya: I think I'm much better at dealing with conflict. I used to be a conflict avoider, but I've developed some solid communication and listening skills over my time being a peer counselor, so conflict isn't as daunting anymore. Also, I try to focus on the relationships in my life much more, just seeing how helpful unconditional support and listening are through our Empower Work conversations, I'm much more inclined to hold onto the relationships in my life that provide that for me.
Val: You’ve reached the level of "master peer counselor," our highest level. I appreciate how you are dedicated to investing in your own development. What specifically are you working on now to become even more amazing?
Keya: Thank you! I think I'm pretty confident at guiding people through what they want to do moving forward, and supporting them by validating their emotions, but I'd like to develop my skills at sitting with peoples' unprocessed, and potentially even unknown, issues. I'm quick to try and support people to a solution, but sometimes I have to be ok with not getting there, and that there might be underlying feelings that needs to be explored, more so than a "solution" needs to be explored.
Val: "Stay" is one of our most powerful concepts! I agree: I like to tell volunteers that if they are questioning whether to stay or not, exploring what is at stake for the person, stay.
If I were to ask you a question I haven't asked that would get to the heart of your Empower Work experience, what would it be?
Keya: I think a good question would be "what motivates you to volunteer at Empower Work?" and I would say that I just I really like to help people, especially people who feel powerless or unheard in their current situation. It makes me so happy when I see positive feedback from our texters, it means that the experience of chatting with us was helpful to them.
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